Daily lessons through the art of Muay Thai

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Changing Ways

We are never the same person that we were yesterday, last week, last year, or ten years ago.  Our ideas, thoughts, beliefs, values, interests, etc.. are all in a constant state of change.  If you sat me down ten years ago and told me that I’d be where I am now I would have thought you were crazy.  But life has that effect sometimes.  You may find yourself returning full circle to where you started only to be a completely different person.

Sometimes I look outside my window and stare into the golf course across the street.  That very same golf course that my friends and I would sneak into through a hole in the fence and drink until the sun came up.  Now, ten years later, I own and currently am in the process of rehabing a house directly across the street from it.  I have everything that anyone can ever ask for.  I have no complaints and life is treating me well.  BUT.  There has been this underlying sense that there is so much more out there to see.  I still feel a sense that something is missing and after traveling to Thailand I feel that something drawing me back day in and day out.  It has been on my mind ever since leaving the country.

I have been mulling over some ideas on how to go back there and live a some what successful life.  I love Thai boxing, but at my age most Thai fighters are retired and have moved on to other areas by this point.  And who knows if I’d even be good under real "Thai boxing rules".  And lets face it, you can’t fight forever.  And you sure don’t make good money doing it unless you’re a stadium ranked fighter or champion.  So I came up with an idea from somewhere out in left field.  I’m going to earn a degree in English, head over to Thailand, and teach.

We tend to lose ourselves sometimes.  We wake up late, hurry off to work, get through the work day, and have little time for ourselves at the end of the day.  You may even have someone depending on you and that time may be cut down.  We do all this while constantly thinking ahead and ignoring the now.  We have t.v. to numb ourselves, where reality t.v. has become anything but reality.  They have game shows dedicated to giving away thousands, sometimes millions of dollars, while people are still going hungry.  The media are like merchants of chaos, feeding off negativity and putting it back out into the airwaves.  They have medications that cover up one symptom only to possibly produce 10 others.  I am guilty of feeding into the system just as much as the next man.  At times, I find myself falling from the truth only to have to bring myself back in.

What is the truth you ask...I believe we all have our own truths.  We all have to look at ourselves at the end of  the day and answer to something inside.  The journey should always be personal.  No man or woman carries with them the same outlook or seeks the same rewards.  For years I’ve been asking what can I do for myself, how can I better myself.  I was raised Catholic, studied Christianity, skimmed through the Koran, The Book of the Dead, The Book of Change, followed different philosophies and great thinkers, and currently dabble in Buddhism.  One thing I have learned is that you can’t find what you need in a book.  All you have to do is look inside.  When you look outside it is just a reflection of what is going on inside.  If turmoil exists within me than that is what I’ll see in the world.  If I’m happy, then happiness will show.  Right now when I look inside I see change.  So when I look out into the world that is what it reflects.  Change.  So with that I will be changing my ways.  The journey begins......again.


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